Hello all.
Nothing new or wonderful to report.Thats because I didn't realise the emotional impact of last weeks trip.Every night I have been waking up thinking I am still at Disney.I jump out of bed in the middle of the night and start to dress thinking I have attactions to do and things to see(and Cast Members to avoid)till I realise I am at home.I havn't felt this low in years.I can't get it out if my head no matter how hard I try.My body aches and I am tired all the time,and when I sleep I wake up at the same place,Disney.It sort of feels like when a member of the opposite sex that you really care for beyond belief breaks your heart(and I have been there).
Thats why it's been quiet on this blog and I don't feel excited about anything.
I wouldn't normaly post anything about my negative inner feelings because I normal hide that side of me but I needed to post 'something'.
Anyways,thanks for reading.
Oh..and Happy B-Day to Gill!
About Me
- Horus Jay
- Avi-ist:someone whose religion is aviation,flight,and is a follower of Horus.
4 comments:
Do you think it would help you to go into some specifics of what happened? Sometimes it helps me just to write things out where I can see them. Gives me a little more perspective. I'm actually in the process of doing that myself with a very long story. You know that the folks who come here care about you and will do whatever we can to help you feel a little better.
Thanks Deni.
I have always had a hard time letting others see my inner feelings.I guess figure everyone has problems,no need to bother everyone with my even if I feel mine are nothing compared to what other people my be going through.
I need to think.
Thanks again.
That is a crushing feeling. I went through it when I moved back from Denver. I was homesick and had high hopes of enjoying the kind of life I had before I left my hometown. What little I managed to reclaim was fleeting and never quite the same. I went on a downward spiral for the first year, doubting myself and my motives for moving in the first place, finally hitting bottom.
I wish I could say I found a magic-bullet answer but I never did. Eventually I realized that I was letting a new life with new opportunities and interests slip by, essentially just perpetuating the hurt and cutting out any chances to be happy again.
I also spent that entire time hiding my feelings, letting them continue to incubate in my mind and justify my resistance to let go or to move forward. I've always had a hard time finding people who will listen to me or understand me enough that their eyes don't glaze over, so I just started writing down my thoughts and feelings on paper. It was like it pulled them out of my head so they could no longer affect me, and I was able to hold them in my hand and see them from outside their influence. When you are able to step outside of your own issues, you attain a power and control over them and you can best see how to resolve them.
Sorry for the novel and I don't know how much will apply to what you're feeling, but hopefully something speaks to you. It's a rough patch, but you'll pull through it in your own way, trust in your process :)
AHH dude. I love you man!! Always remember you have a lot of people in your life that will always listen. I totally understand the "Someone out there has it worse than me" syndrome, but that doesn't make your feelings any less valid or important.
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